Title: Kill The Boy Band
Author: Goldy Moldavsky
Paperback: 312 pages
Published: February 23rd 2016 by Point
My Rating: 3/5 stars
Summary (From Goodreads): Just know from the start that it wasn’t supposed to go like this. All we wanted was to get near them. That’s why we got a room in the hotel where they were staying.
We were not planning to kidnap one of them. Especially not the most useless one. But we had him—his room key, his cell phone, and his secrets.
We were not planning on what happened next.
From thrilling new talent Goldy Moldavsky comes a pitch-black, hilarious take on fandom and the badass girls who have the power to make—or break—the people we call “celebrities”.
This book was a weird read for me. The plotline reads like a bad fanfiction, but the dark humour is its saving grace.
Let’s start with the negatives, for a change – as I’ve just stated, this reads like a bad fanfiction. You know the type; self-insert One Direction fics, where the Mary-Sueish OC somehow gets together with band-member-of-their-choice.
That literally happens in this book. I mean, seriously, the unnamed main character kisses her idol (although, she loses him and they never meet again). The plot is so unrealistic, it’s actually hilarious. Instead of finding this annoying, I found it more like a parody, which is new for me.
There are a couple of bigger issues I had with this book – namely sexual assault and fat shaming. Apple, one of the main character’s ‘friends’, winds up sitting on the lap of a band member that they have, tied up, with her shirt off, taking selfies and kissing him.
I get that fangirls can come across as crazy (come on, I’ve been there, just over fictional characters, not band members) but would they really go that far? In all fairness though, the protagonist does call her out on it.
The fat shaming is also iffy – Apple manages to knock a guy out by hugging him and apparently constantly posts about it on Twitter. It’s annoying.
Aside from that, I found the book to be one of those that’s so bad it’s good.
Let me give you the run-down: There is a boyband called The Ruperts. All of its members have the same first name. No prizes for guessing what it is.
There are four fangirls – Strepurs (Ruperts backwards) – that adore them. Our unnamed protagonist, her best mate Erin who is a Queen Bitch, Erin’s psychopathic best mate Izzy, and Apple.
The girls accidentally kidnap Rupert P, the one that nobody except Apple likes. He somehow dies (I won’t say who kills him – spoilers!) and they try to figure out who did it, as well as getting him out of their hotel room.
As I said, plotline is terrible, but if you have a sadistic streak, you might find this book is up your street. It definitely entertained me for a few hours.